Down For Whatever
I really wish this was a cheat sheet… “Ever since the Jersey Shore popularized the acronym “DTF” meaning “Down to fuck,” I’ve been working it into various statements involving women and food, and also...
View ArticleAiring It Out
This was funny until I saw the attached photo. Now you too will suffer… “Dear cute girl with big boobs in my office bending over next to the filing cabinet in the lowcut v-neck shirt, Don’t fucking...
View ArticleBe A Weiner
I saw this coming from a mile away. He sent this to me and his friends: “Dudes– Why is everyone getting so mad at this 17 year old gay kid with Benjamin Button disorder for sending a picture of his...
View ArticleHow We Begin
Why/How/Where does he think of stuff like this? “One of the first things that happens in life is an old Jewish man comes up to you and cuts part of your penis off. That’s pretty fucking crazy when you...
View ArticleDrugs, Apple, Death and Potato Chips
In some order. I’m not sure. He sent this much earlier but I’ve been packing and sometimes drinking. Here are his thoughts on Amy Winehouse: “Life is weird. I found out about Amy Winehouse dying in the...
View ArticleShowing Appreciation
Sometimes he talks about life like he’s a 60 year old war veteran… “I’m worried that you don’t have enough of an appreciation for women’s legs. You know– gams, stumps, pegs, crotch stands, pussy...
View ArticleGet Hurt
Another solid idea… “The best way to get to know your body is to torture it. You’ll find out all sorts of things that regular people don’t know, like the fact that scabs on the inside crease of your...
View ArticleText Exchange About Shit
that just occured: HIM: “Last poop could be best described as “Southwestern.”" ME: Corn? HIM: “No it was more of a color thing. Lots of dusty browns. Some dark purples. Are you familiar with Georgia...
View ArticleThat Smell
One of the grosser subject lines in memory. Sorry… “Baby puked in front of me on my flight this morning. Almost had a Stand By Me pukefest as everyone freaked out, but did I? Fuck no. I used it as an...
View ArticleSomething To Study
Nothing should be studied, that’s the thesis: “A new study indicates that repeated blows to the head were partly to blame for a number of former NFL players suffering from brain trauma later in life....
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